I don't know what will come of this. I doubt anyone reads it anyway. But at the end of the day, it's about me, my thoughts and my accountability.
You see, something happened recently that made me go 'wow. People really are that shallow.' (Well we all think that from time to time). But I tried to reconnect with a former lecturer of mine. Someone who I looked up to as a mentor. And got rejected. Ok admittedly I did drop out of his course. But it had nothing to do with his teachings.
You see, I have an autistic child. And anyone with special needs children, they know that's a tough roll. She went through bouts of school refusal (and still does). We had a lot of issues with her school which resulted in me putting in a formal complaint to the education department. (This all resulted because of one staff member in particular). Needless to say, with the school refusal, I found it hard to get to my course on campus.
Add to that the fact that I was in a family violence relationship. I worked up the courage to leave earlier this year. Which resulted in 6 months of homelessness for my daughter and I. We survived and we now have a place of our own and are doing well.
But none of these have stopped my goals or my dreams. You see, my goal is to start my own personal training business. I already have my certificate. I was studying my diploma. And I will go back to it one day. But my dream is to also go into powerlifting. And if you know me, I mean in person, you will know I was in the triple kg weight range.
People on the outside would look at me and think 'oh she has no will power when it comes to food. She works out and still gets fatter'. But that was the old me. And it wasn't that i had no willpower. It was the fact that my ex would dictate the foods we ate. I had no control over the menu because he earnt the money so he got to choose what we ate. It was all part of his sock power/mind games he played. He liked to control me in every aspect of my life. The only thing I had was my course. It was my escape. My dreams were my escape. He tried to put down my dreams as well. 'Oh that piece of paper means nothing. You are worthless and will never have your own business.' Yeah. I lived that life.
But all that is in the past. He has no control over me anymore. I will own my own business and I will become a power lifter.
My daughter and I are now free and happy. My goals and dreams are back on track. We will achieve this... Together.
Ps. 10kgs down back in double kgs :D
